Sleep: The one thing that can change everything.

Sleep is a bit of a conundrum.

Teens love sleep—waking them up for school can feel like a full-contact sport. You’d think telling them to go to bed would be music to their ears, but instead it’s met with eye rolls, “I know,” and “I just have to finish ______.”

It’s frustrating.

This week, I want to put a little pressure on us as parents to truly prioritize our teens’ sleep. I have three non-negotiables as a parent: Sleep, Seatbelts, and Kindness.

Sleep is at the top of that list for a reason.

Sleep is the single most important thing we can do for our overall health—at any age. Tired people are not their best selves. Exhausted people struggle with patience, learning, emotional regulation, and decision-making. And yet, sleep is often the first thing we allow to slide.

When teens don’t get enough sleep, everything feels harder—for them and for us.

Teens Are Chronically Sleep-Deprived

Teens need 8–10 hours of sleep every night to function at their best.

And yet, when I ask students in my classroom how much sleep they’re getting, six hours is often considered a win.

Let’s look at the math:

• 6 hours/night = 42 hours/week
  
  

• 8 hours/night = 56 hours/week
  
  

• 10 hours/night = 70 hours/week
  
  

That’s a weekly deficit of 14–28 hours of sleep for teens getting only six hours a night.

As a teacher, I see the impact every single day: students who are foggy, irritable, emotionally reactive, and overwhelmed—not because they don’t care, but because they’re exhausted.

It’s Not Just Hormones — It’s Sleep

We often blame teen behavior on hormones or an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex—and yes, those absolutely play a role.

But here’s the piece we often overlook:

The brain cannot regulate emotions, control impulses, or learn effectively when it’s sleep-deprived.

Many of the behaviors we chalk up to “typical teen stuff” are amplified by chronic exhaustion.

Ironically, we understood this when our kids were younger.

When a toddler skipped a nap, we apologized to strangers:

“Sorry—no nap today.”

Or we drove around aimlessly, praying for a car nap.

We knew sleep mattered then.

It still does now—maybe even more.

Teen brains are developing rapidly, just like they were in early childhood, and sleep is essential for that growth.

What’s Happening in the Brain During Sleep?

During sleep, the teen brain is incredibly active.

This is when the brain:

• Organizes and processes information from the day
  
  

• Transfers learning into long-term memory
  
  

• Strengthens neural connections
  
  

• Regulates emotions and stress responses
  
  

• Clears metabolic waste (think of it as a nightly brain “deep clean”)
  
  

A chronically sleep-deprived brain is like a hoarder’s house—nothing ever gets cleaned out or organized, making it harder to find information and perform daily tasks.

When sleep is disrupted, it leads to:

• Difficulty focusing and learning
  
  

• Increased irritability and emotional dysregulation
  
  

• Lower frustration tolerance
  
  

• Poorer decision-making and impulse control
  
  

Sleep isn’t optional for brain development—it’s required.

Why Sleep Gets Pushed Aside

Sleep doesn’t disappear because teens don’t care—it disappears because life gets crowded.

• Puberty shifts the circadian rhythm, delaying melatonin release by about two hours
  
  

• Homework loads that feel never-ending
  
  

• Late practices, games, and jobs
  
  

• Social lives, shows, scrolling, and connection
  
  

Sleep becomes the easiest thing to sacrifice.

And teens feel the contradiction deeply:

They love sleep… and yet they delay it.

This Is Where Parents Matter Most

Our job isn’t to control every choice our teens make.

Our job is to set boundaries that help them succeed, especially when their developing brains struggle to do that on their own.

Sleep is one of those boundaries.

When we prioritize sleep, we’re not being strict—we’re being supportive. We’re helping our teens build habits that will follow them into college, adulthood, and beyond.

Because the habits formed in adolescence tend to stick—for better or worse.

Helping Teens Build Healthier Sleep Habits

Start with partnership, not power struggles.

Have a conversation with your teen. Let them know why sleep matters and where you’re coming from—a place of love and compassion. Ask how you can help them prioritize sleep.

Maybe that means:

• Taking something off their plate
  
  

• Shifting responsibilities to weekends
  
  

• Using study periods more efficiently
  
  

• Reading on the bus
  
  

• Using voice-to-text while they’re a passenger to capture ideas for later
  
  

Check in often. This isn’t a one-and-done conversation—it’s an ongoing partnership for their overall health.

Sleep won’t fix everything—but it will make everything more manageable.

Final Thought

If there’s one place to focus your energy as a parent of a teen, let it be this:

Protect their sleep.

Not because it’s easy.

Not because they’ll thank you today.

But because it gives their brain—and nervous system—the best chance to grow, regulate, and thrive.

And right now, that matters more than almost anything else.

Your Friend,

Caitlin

PS: Sleep doesn’t accumulate—I wish we could store it like calcium, but we can’t. However, naps do count toward total sleep. A tired brain can’t take in anything else. If your teen comes home from school and needs a nap, let them sleep. When they wake up, they’re often refreshed and better able to tackle the rest of the day.

PPS: Let them sleep in on the weekends.