The Summer of FOMO…
I asked my husband what I should write about this week. He gave it about three seconds of thought before saying, “FOMO!”
Perfect. Could there be a better topic for the summer we’re having as a family?
My husband started his own business this summer (Georgie’s Greek Taverna- his first food truck!) I launched mine back in January. The kids? Two completely different schedules full of sports and camps. We’ve been busy, we’ve done a lot… but we have not taken a vacation.
Heading back to school, as a teacher, after a summer “off” without a getaway has me feeling pretty bummed. Last week my sister and her family were in Aruba, sending pictures and updates along the way. My husband teased, “Are you sad your sister is in Aruba?” I said, “No… I’m sad we’re NOT in Aruba!”
I’m not jealous of her trip. I’m just bummed I didn’t plan one for us. I’m grateful for everything we did do, but I can still grieve the summer we didn’t get to have. Two things can be true.
That’s why I get it when our kids act like they’re missing out. We tend to label them as entitled or ungrateful, but if I—an adult with a fully matured brain who grew up without social media—still experience FOMO, how can I expect them not to?
Imagine growing up with constant updates on what everyone is doing, eating, wearing, where they’re going, who they’re with… and then being told, “Cheer up. Stop acting ungrateful.” Our kids are growing up in a completely different world than we did, and we’re parenting through challenges we never faced. But maybe our experiences aren’t that different.
Throwback to My First FOMO
I remember the summer before 6th grade. My friends and I entered a giveaway for Free Willy movie tickets—AND WE WON! I couldn’t go because my family was headed to the Cape. I begged to stay home. My parents did not oblige.
The day of the movie came and went. No Instagram posts. No Snapchats of popcorn and who sat next to who. No real-time play-by-play of what I was missing.
That night, I used my calling card (yes, really) to call my friend. She told me all about the movie, who cried, and how one of the boys stood up at the end yelling, “FREE WILLY!” while Michael Jackson’s Will You Be There played. I laughed, I was happy for them, and yes—I was still a little bummed I missed it.
It’s such a random memory, but it’s etched in my mind because of the emotion attached to it. Pixar was right—core memories and emotions are woven into who we are.
FOMO Today Is Louder
Our teens don’t just hear about what they missed after the fact—they watch it unfold in real time. And missing out can feel like the end of the world to them. We have decades of perspective; they don’t.
FOMO isn’t going anywhere, so the goal isn’t to eliminate it—it’s to prepare them for it, help them keep perspective, and show them how to balance “I wish I was there” with “I’m grateful I’m here.”
8 Ways to Help Your Teen Handle FOMO
Call It Out
“Looks like FOMO’s visiting today.” Naming it takes away some of its power.
Add empathy, not sarcasm: “I get it. I hate that feeling too.” Share your own story from when you felt left out—whether from your teen years or last week.
Reality Check
Remind them: Instagram is a highlight reel, not the full story.
They know this because they curate their own stories, too. Talk about what’s behind the highlight reel.
Encourage Joy Where You Are
Ask, “What’s something small we can do today that would be fun?”
Gratitude is easier to practice when it’s not in the middle of a FOMO spiral. Try practicing gratitude daily, even just narrating it out loud can model gratitude for them. “I’m so grateful we had this car ride together to catch up.”
“Auntie wants us to go to Aruba with her next summer, we are so lucky she offered to pay for our whole trip…”. PSYCH!!! Haha just kidding, but I am so grateful that my sister and I and our families have such an awesome connection that they want to travel with us!
Phone Pause
If FOMO is killing the vibe before family plans, take a short screen break.
“Let’s put phones down for 30 minutes before we leave so we’re not carrying that ‘everyone else is having more fun’ feeling with us.”
Give Them the Reigns
Encourage them to make plans instead of waiting to be invited.
Mix it up—friends, family, solo hobbies—so their social life isn’t tied to just one circle.
Hold the Line
“I know you wish you were there, but I want you here for this.”
Acknowledge the feeling but keep the boundary. Sometimes, the “no” is non-negotiable.
Recognize Their Social Needs
Invite them to bring a friend along when possible. If you can rearrange things so they don’t miss out, do it—and tell them, “I thought it was a no, but we can make it happen.” Flexibility shows you value their social life.
Be Flowers, Not Furniture
Furniture is always there; flowers are special, noticed, and appreciated. Be flowers, not furniture. And encourage your teen to invite others along and be the one who brings the flowers! Inclusivity makes things more fun for everyone.
We Control the Narrative
If our response to their FOMO is to feed it, cave to it, or join in, that’s the pattern they’ll learn. They might roll their eyes, but over time, they’ll remember how we modeled perspective. Here are some phrases to have on hand:
Empathy + Validation
“Yeah, I know that feeling. It stinks.”
“I hate missing out too.”
“Totally get it—you wish you were there.”
“FOMO’s real. I get it.”
“Two things can be true—you can be bummed and still have a good time here.”
Perspective Builders
“Good for them.”
“That looks fun… and we’ve got our own fun right here.”
“You’ve been to things they’ve missed too.”
“Nobody can be everywhere at once.”
“Social media sure does have a way of romanticizing things.”
Reframe + Redirect
“Alright… What's something we can do right now that is fun?”
“Okay—FOMO acknowledged. Now, what’s next?”
“Let’s make our own highlight reel today.”
“What’s one good thing about being here instead of there?”
“Want to invite a friend to join us?”
Boundary + Connection
“I know you wish you were there. But I want you here for this.”
“I’m glad you’re with us right now.”
“Phones down for a bit—let’s reset.”
“I can’t change the plan, and I’m excited to be here with you.”
“You’re allowed to be bummed, but don’t miss what’s happening here.”
The goal isn’t to protect them from FOMO—it’s to teach them how to live with it and still find joy where they are. Because FOMO ain’t going nowhere, trust me!
Your friend,
Caitlin
Founder of Teen Connections Consulting.
